Bowsette's Princess Lessons Chapter 21: A Happy Ending?

 Bowsette's Princess Lessons

Chapter XXI: A Happy Ending?

After their long ordeal, Toadette insisted that everyone head straight to the castle infirmary for a much-needed rest. But Toadsworth and Princess Peach absolutely insisted that they needed a moment to speak with one another…alone. In the end, Mario, Luigi, and Daisy agreed to help Toadette see the rest of the company to their hospital beds, before returning to await Peach.

In the grand hallway outside of Toadsworth’s private office, Mario and Daisy paced back and forth like two caged tigers. Luigi twiddled his thumbs, in an unsuccessful attempt to disguise his nerves. Toadette gave no hint of her inner rage. But there was a definite edge to Toadette’s voice. “Oooh! I can’t believe that Toadsworth! After all we’ve been through, Princess Peach should be in the infirmary, resting her body and mind. What could Toadsworth possibly have to tell her that’s so urgent, it couldn’t wait until after she recovered from traumatic brain injury?”

Daisy dug her fingers into her hair. “There’s only one possible explanation! Toadsworth is probably giving Peach the spanking of her life, and it’s all my fault! If I hadn’t spanked Bowser, none of this would have happened! Now, poor Peach is gonna have traumatic butt injury!”

Luigi coughed, glancing askance at the ornate wooden doors that led to Toadsworth’s office. “...Uh, what makes you say that, Daisy? I’m sure they’re just having a rational discussion, like two mature adults.”

“Yeah! A thorough, pains-taking discussion! One where Toadsworth’s hand is saying, ‘Whack, smack, twhack! Whackity-whack!’ to Peach’s poor, precious patootie! I just know that’s what’s happening! Ooh, lemme listen!”

Daisy pressed her ear against the door, then leapt back, shaking her fists at the sky. “I can’t hear nothin’! Curse these impenetrable, sound-proof doors! How long must I stay in suspense?”

The door creaked open, and two retainers poked their heads out. The first was a blue Toad with thick spectacles. The second was a pink Toad girl with two blond pigtail buns, a little younger than Toadette. 

Mario froze. “Toadbert! Toadiko!”

Toadbert adjusted his glasses. “Master Toadsworth and her royal highness, Crown Princess Peach, are prepared to see you.”

Daisy shoved past everyone, sending Toadbert and Todiko spiraling like two tops. “Peach! We’re coming! I’ve got an emergency pillow you can sit on!”

Toadiko held her head as she came spinning to a halt. “Woah…emergency pillow? What’s that?”

Mario and Luigi both shrugged, in that distinctly Italian-American manner. “Eh, fuggedaboutit!” they both said, at once.

Toadbert picked his glasses before following them down a minor corridor. “Um, generally speaking, we’re supposed to announce you before–”

Daisy thrust open the second set of doors and burst into Toadsworth’s office. “All right, what’s the damage?”

They all found Toadsworth seated behind his mahogany work desk, while Peach sat opposite him, looking abashed. Peach rubbed her cheek, blushing madly. “…Hello, everyone…I’m sorry, it looks like I made a royal mess of things. Toadsworth says we all need to have a chat about what comes next.”

Toadsworth rang a small bell on his desk. “Toadbert! Toadiko! Please fetch me the Switch.”

Daisy roared to the heavens. “A switch? I knew it! That means spanking!” 

Toadsworth’s mustache drooped in shock. “Spanking? Princess Daisy, what are you–”

Toadette held up her hands, her eyes pleading. “Don’t do it, Toadsworth! Don’t spank Peach!”

Princess Daisy sprinted to face Toadsworth and slammed her palms on the top of the desk. “Yeah! Spank me instead!”

Toadsworth almost tipped over backwards in his chair. “But, I’m not going to spank you, Daisy. I’m only–”

Daisy slammed her fist down on the desk. “You’re only going to spank Peach? Outrageous! That’s not fair, and you know it! I won’t stand for this injustice! Look, I’m the one who spanked Bowser. It was all my idea! I’m the only one who should get spanked! Me!”

Princess Peach stood up, holding her hand over her heart. “No, I can’t let you do that, Daisy. I was the one who orchestrated the plan. I was the one who was responsible for Bowser. It is I, and I alone, who should be punished.”

Toadsworth looked back and forth at each of the Princesses, as if his head was on a swivel. “But, but, but–”

Daisy bent over Toadsworth’s desk, assuming the position for a caning, and pointed at her upturned rear end. “Yes! Right on my butt! Just promise me you won’t spank Peach!”

Toadsworth waved his hands. “But…I’m not going to spank Peach! I’m–”

Peach pointed a finger in Toadsworth’s face. “Master Toadsworth! Don’t you dare let Daisy badger you out of doing your royal duty!”

Daisy pumped a fist and pointed a finger at Peach’s face. “Ha! Too late, Peach! He promised! Which means I’m the only one getting spanked today! Luigi, get over here and help Toadsworth spank me.”

Luigi looked left and right, and found no one else in the room named Luigi. “Me? But, but, but—”

Daisy seized Luigi by his overall straps and led him to the desk. “Yes! You have to spank my butt! That’s the whole idea! Don’t worry, Luigi, you’ll get the hang of it right away.”

To Luigi’s horror, Daisy sat him down roughly on Toadsworth’s desk, then crawled across his lap, lying bottoms up. “Now, I can get a bit feisty during a spanking, so whatever you do, make sure you don’t give me an inch. If I bite or kick, just lay one on me to show me who’s in charge. I’m a wild, untamable spirit, and it’s your job to tame me, by tanning my hide!”

Without pausing to take a breath, Daisy lifted her hips and pulled aside her yellow sash, revealing her “Hi! I’m Daisy!” pants to Luigi’s stunned gaze. Daisy gestured emphatically to her backside as she continued her lecture. “Concentrate on spanking the lower area of my booty, right here, where I’ve got the most padding. Spank me hard, with firm, steady, deliberate strokes. Once you’ve got my attention, just keep paddling me without mercy, until my butt is bright red, and I’m reduced to a sobbing mess of girlish tears.”

Luigi’s face turned pale. “Daisy! I could never hit you!” 

Daisy sat up, holding Luigi’s hands tight in hers. “I’m not asking you to hit me, Luigi. I’m asking you to spank me, with love. There’s a big difference! I’m trusting you to give me the spanking I have coming, because I know you’re a man worthy of that trust. And when my spanking is finally over, I want you to cradle me in your lap and comfort me. Give me head pats, and tell me I took my spanking like a big, brave girl. Then give me a little kiss and tell me everything is forgiven. Well, go on, Luigi! Do what you have to do!”

As Daisy flopped back down over Luigi’s lap, Princess Peach grabbed Luigi roughly by the collar. “No! Don’t do it, Luigi! Stand on your principles!”

Still lying bottoms up, Daisy lifted her head, baring her fangs at Peach. “Hey! Butt out, Peach! I’m taking your spanking for you, and that’s that!”

Toadsworth waved his walking stick in the air, stammering. “Wait, wait, wait! Daisy, you don’t need to take a spanking for Princess Peach!”

Daisy grinned. “Well, duh. I’m not doing this for Peach because I need to. I’m doing this for Peach because I want to, because that’s what friends do!”

As Peach began to argue with Daisy a horrifying thought occurred to her. “Oh, no! If Luigi is going to spank Daisy, does that mean…Mario is going to spank me!?!””

Peach spun to find Mario, marching toward the desk, with a stern look on his face. All of a sudden, Peach experienced a vivid daydream: Mario seizing her by the wrist, before wordlessly taking her across his knee…

Then Mario rounded the desk, staring Toadsworth dead in the eyes. “Toadsworth, you can’t do this. Princess Peach and Princess Daisy did nothing wrong. Neither of them deserve to be punished.”

Peach sighed with relief. Of course! Mario was a gentleman! He would never consent to spank her! 

…Though Peach had a strange feeling that if he had consented to spank her, she’d have happily consented to accept it.

Peach’s internal argument was interrupted when Toadsworth rapped his walking stick down sharply against his desk, with enough force to silence everyone.  “But I’m not going to spank Princess Peach at all! I was never going to give Princess Peach a spanking in the first place!”

Everyone blinked. “You’re not?” said Mario, Luigi, Toadette, Peach, and Daisy, all at once.

Peach released her grasp on Luigi, and stood to attention. “But, Toadsworth, why did you grab me by the hand and say, ‘Princess Peach, you and I need to have a serious talk!’ in such a foreboding manner?"

Toadsworth facepalmed. “Because I wanted to talk to you!”

Luigi glanced at the door. “But…what about the switch you asked for?”

Toadbert and Toadiko appeared at the door, carrying a small video game console. 

“Here you are, Master Toadsworth! The Wintendo Switch!” said Toadbert, as he set it on the desk. 

Toadiko activated the device with the twin Joycon controllers. “We’ve already loaded the Koopa News Network channel for you.”

With a bow and a curtsey, Toadbert and Todiko excused themselves.

Daisy glanced back at her panty-clad behind, and zipped like a lightning bolt to stand at Peach’s side, tying the yellow sash to cover herself. “...So, to clarify, you did not summon Princess Peach to your office for a bare-butt beatdown?”

Toadsworth rubbed his eyes behind his glasses. “Sigh…That is correct, Princess Daisy.”

Daisy elbowed Peach, with a teasing smile. “Wow, he’s letting you off easy, Peach!”

Mario crossed his arms. “Well, then what was so urgent? We beat Bowser, and he’s back in his cell. Problem solved.”

Toadsworth shook his head. “I’m afraid it’s not that simple, Master Mario. If you would all please have a seat…”

Toadsworth pressed a button on the Joycon, and the miniature television screen on the Wintendo Switch flicked on. A logo appeared, joined by dramatic classical music, and a deep, booming voice. “Koopa News Network: All The News We Make, We Fake.”

A pair of Koopa Troopas appeared on screen, one wearing a silver-grey toupee with a green suit and tie, the other wearing a blond wig with a red pantsuit with matching lipstick. The trailing chiron below the screen declared a series of horrendous-sounding headlines.

The green Koopa looked at the camera, leaning on his desk to look serious. “Lord Bowser Koopa, a beloved war hero, has been kidnapped. While making a diplomatic mission to the Mushroom Kingdom to deliver a message of love, peace, and unity to the Royal Court of King Toadstool, the champion of the Turtle Tribe was kidnapped by none other than Princess Toadstool.”

The red Koopa filed her nails. “He can do much better than her, in my unbiased and objective opinion!”

“We now bring you exclusive footage, shot live on the scene.”

The feed cut to show a shaky video which had clearly been shot on a phone camera. Princess Peach was laughing maniacally. “Mwa ha ha! Oh, Bowser, darling? Prepare to be kidnapped by me, the evil Peach, Princess Toadstool of Mushroom Kingdom!”

“Peaches! You’re kidnapping me? That’s diabolical! I’m so–”

The video cut off sharply, and the two Koopas reappeared, looking stern. “According to the royal vizier, Kammy Koopa, King Bowser was magically transformed into the form of a woman during the altercation.” 

The feed cut to Kammy Koopa, speaking into several microphones. “I saw it with my own eyes! The moment the Crown of Queen Toadstool was placed upon his head, King Bowser transformed into…well, Queen Bowser, I guess. I’m flabbergasted. How could the Mushroom Kingdom have access to such dangerous, arcane sorcery?”

Toadette stamped her foot, her pigtails flying. “Those…liars!”

Peach gently shushed Toadette and gestured to the screen of the Switch.

On the newscast, a crowd of journalists all shouted to ask their question first. “Why would Peach do this to him? Is she some kind of sicko?”

“Is she some kind of psycho?”

“Can the process be reversed?”

“Can the process be repeated?”

“How soon are we going to bomb the Mushroom Kingdom?”

 

Kammy waved her hands. “One at a time! One at a time! Now, as the Koopa Kingdom’s preeminent expert on ancient magic…I have no idea. Once I ascertained that Lord Bowser had been taken captive, I immediately returned to the Koopa Kingdom to renew my research on the Crown of Queen Toadstool. With additional government funding, I am confident we will get to the bottom of this.”

A shaky, old man’s voice barked from off screen. “Wait, you left Lord Bowser behind?”

Kammy Koopa pulled at the collar of her witch’s cape. “Well, in a manner of speaking. But only because I was in a hurry to return home to…Oh! Hello, Master Kamek! Fancy meeting you–Ack!”

Kamek, a decrepit Magikoopa even older than Kammy, charged on screen and pinched Kammy by the ear. (Although Koopas don’t have any ears, this doesn’t make them immune to having their ears pinched by a parental figure.) “You abandoned your post, Kammy? Disgraceful! I trained you better than that. There’s only one fitting punishment for such cowardice!"

“Capital punishment?” asked one of the assembled journalists.

Kamek shook his head. “No, far worse. Corporal punishment!”

“Oh, no! Not that! Anything but that!” wailed Kammy Koopa.

Kamek took a seat and easily bent Kammy over his knee, stretching his gnarled old arm. “Hush, you whippersnapper. You’re long overdue for a long, hard spanking! Just like the ones I used to give you when you were a trouble-making apprentice!”

Kammy trembled as she twisted over her shoulder to look pleadingly at her old teacher. “But…but I’m a senior member of the Koopa Cabinet!”

Kamek lifted Kammy’s robe up to reveal a pair of granny-style bloomers, and exhaled onto his palm. “Well, that just goes to show, you’re never too old for a good spanking.”

Mugging at the camera with a resigned look on her face, Kammy shrugged. “Well, you got me there.”

With that, Kamek began to spank Kammy Koopa soundly, raising a cloud of dust with every swat across her dusty drawers. Kammy whooped and hollered. “Yeeaaah! Oh, I never should have gone into politics!”

Kamek didn’t pause the spanking as he lectured Kammy. “Now, now, Kammy, don’t beat yourself up. That’s my job. You have talent. All you need is a few more decades of experience, and then you’ll be ready to take over for me as Second-in-Command of Bowser’s Army.”

Kammy’s eyes teared up as she endured the ongoing spanking. “Ow! You…you really think so, sensei? Yeeowch!”

Kamek sighed, but with less exasperation. “I know so. Because I’m going to spank you until you’re the finest evil henchman who ever served the Great Demon King!”

Then Kamek snapped his head up to address the assembled journalists. “And as soon as I’m done teaching this youngster a lesson, I’m declaring Martial Law and whipping up an army the likes of which the Mushroom Kingdom has never seen! …And Princess Toadstool, if you’re watching, you’d best take great care of Lord Koopa, or all that’s left of the Mushroom Kingdom…will be a mushroom cloud.”

The feed cut back to the two journalists. The Green Koopa nodded, looking grave. “There you have it, folks, a message of strength and unity in these trying times.”

The Red Koopa fanned herself. “Just what is needed in these times of trouble! A firm, guiding hand! But what of Lord Bowser’s poor children?”

“Indeed. Shortly after that interview, Chancellor Kamek formally invoked the emergency powers granted to him under The Law of the Great Demon King, to act as the temporary Lord Protector of the Koopa Kingdom and Regent to the throne, until such time as Lord Bowser is returned safely…or until such time as Prince Bowser, Junior, comes of age. One of our reporters harassed–er, had an opportunity to speak to the young Prince outside of the Koopa Kid Kindergarten.”

The feed cut to a camera shot of Bowser Junior, wearing the sky blue shirt and yellow hat that represented a Koopa Kindergarten uniform. A journalist shoved a mic into the child’s face. “Prince Bowser! Mario and Princess Peach have kidnapped your father! Your father may never come home! You’re all alone! What are you gonna’ do?”

Bowser Junior rounded on the reporter, breathing fire. “What? Where’s my Papa? Give him back, right now!”

Bowser Junior picked up the reporter and physically threw him through the brick wall of the elementary school, before rounding on the camera man and tackling him to the ground. “Mario! I’ll show you! We Koopas are a family! And our family always sticks together!”

The feed ended abruptly, returning to the two Koopa TV anchors. The Red Koopa shrieked. “The poor children! Won’t somebody, please, think of the children?”

The Green Koopa shook his head, bemused. “Well, I know someone who always thinks of the children: Lord Bowser, father of eight, and father of the year. We’re happy to report that one of our undercover reporters has managed to confirm that Bowser is alive and well, despite being subject to inhumane and un-turtlish treatment! We can confirm that, just this morning, Lord Bowser was apparently forced to run a deadly, obstacle course of doom, using an advanced magical weapon identified as The Mario Maker! This devious death trap was designed by none other than–you guessed it–Princess Peach! In this on-the-ground footage, we see Princess Peach’s obstacle course collapsing.”

The Red Koopa sniffed. “I suppose Princess Peach couldn’t be bothered to contract a Koop-O.S.H.A. safety inspector.” 

The Green Koopa sneered. “We can only suppose. Look carefully at this footage, and you can clearly see Mario and Princess Toadstool, falling towards certain destruction.”

“Through no fault but their own!”

“When whomst should arrive to save the day but…Lord Bowser himself…herself?”

The feed cut to show a distant camera shot, which zoomed in to show Bowser flying through the air to catch Princess Peach and Mario. “Peaches! Don’t worry, baby! Daddy’s coming for ya’!”

Peach stood to get a closer look at the screen. “How did they get that footage?”

Luigi looked stern. “It must have been one of Bowser’s Lakitu spies!”

On the news feed, the Red Koopa TV anchor almost swooned as they replayed the footage of Bowser flying, with Superman music added for dramatic, truth-enhancing effect. “Oooh! What a man…woman? Wait, how are we supposed to refer to Lord Bowser now? I just can’t keep up with all these new pronouns!”

The Green Koopa fidgeted with his tie. “Um…can we get a check on that from the network censor? At any rate, despite Lord Bowser’s heroic action, it seems that Princess Peach had devised still more sadistic torments. An anonymous whistleblower also sent us this shocking footage. Parents of impressionable children be warned! Viewer discretion is advised.”

The feed cut to show Bowser kicking and squirming over Daisy’s knee, as Daisy spanked him/her atop the tower of Toadstool Fortress. The camera angle was shot from a high, bird’s eye view, probably from the very top of one of the castle towers. From the distance Daisy looked like a few green and blue pixels on the screen, but the sound of the spanking was unmistakable. Daisy choked. “Oh, crud. Wait til my Dad sees this.”

Peach shook her head. “A spy? Inside my castle? Captain Toad needs to be alerted at once!”

Toadsworth sighed. “...He is already aware.”

On the screen of the Switch, the two Koopa TV anchors were shaking their heads. The Green Koopa was milking the drama for all he was worth. “That’s right, dear viewers…Torture! We can confirm that, under the direct orders of Princess Peach, Lord Bowser was spanked by none other than that meddlesome coward, #2 on the Elite Koopatrol’s Most Wanted List, Luigi Mario!” 

Luigi gestured to himself. “Me?”

The Green Koopa shook his finger, as if he could hear Luigi through the screen. “That’s right! You can see it with your own eyes! Luigi spanked Bowser! Are there no depths of depravity to which Princess Peach will not sink in her mad quest for revenge? And what crime has Lord Bowser committed, except to devote himself tirelessly to the cause of uniting our long-divided Kingdom? Is it a crime…to love?”

The Red Koopa applied a fresh coat of lipstick. “If you want my opinion, Princess Peach is in dire need of a good spanking, herself.”

The Green Koopa held up a finger. “Many would agree with that opinion. But fortunately, we don’t deal with opinions on the Koopa News Network. On this network, we deal with just the facts. And now, a word from our sponsor!”

A jazzy jingle started to play, over footage of a field of oil rigs. “Dinosaur Land Petroleum. Though our partnership with O.P.E.C. the Organization of the Petroleum Exporting Countries, we’re bringing power to families across the Koopa Kingdom.”

Peach stood tall, shaking her head. “I’ve heard enough, Toadsworth. Please turn it off.”

Toadsworth flicked off the Wintendo Switch, shaking his head. 

Toadette grabbed her ponytails, gnashing her teeth. “Oooh…those fibbers! Why would they lie like that?”

“Because they’re journalists,” said Mario and Luigi, at the same time.

Toadsworth nodded. “But knowing Kamek, those threats are just bluster. I’ll send a peace envoy to the Koopa Kingdom to assure him that Bowser is being treated with utmost respect…as a guest of the Mushroom Kingdom.”

Mario’s mustache seemed to crackle. “A guest? After all that monster did? We should lock him up, and lose the key!”

Luigi stroked his chin. “Hold on, a guest? Peach, that’s what Bowser always calls you, after he kidnaps you.”

Peach nodded. “Exactly, Luigi. Throughout our history, royal families have often kept their enemies under close watch as ‘royal guests.’ It’s a polite fiction. By calling me a ‘guest,’ rather than a ‘prisoner,’ The Koopa Kingdom can avoid making a declaration of open war with the Mushroom Kingdom.”

Daisy looked pensive. “Huh, I always figured you get kidnapped so often, everybody just…got used to it.”

Peach took a slow, deliberate breath. “Well, I certainly haven’t gotten used to it. But no one wants a state of war between the Mushroom Kingdom and the Koopa Kingdom, not even Bowser. We’re too evenly matched in military strength.”

Mario ripped off his hat and rifled his fingers through his hair. “So, what, we have to let Bowser go? Because he’s a King, he can get away with doing whatever he wants?”

Toadsworth shook his head. “Not necessarily. But we have to be delicate. As long as Bowser is our ‘guest,’ we can always ‘request’ that the Koopa Kingdom concede some ‘minor’ territories. We can gently ‘remind’ them to finally acknowledge some of the finer terms of our Peace Treaty.”

Mario fixed his cap. “I could never do your job, Toadsworth. Politics makes me sick.”

Toadsworth took off his spectacles, looking tired. “It’s dirty work. But someone has to do it. Bowser is a problem that requires all of us to work together. Which brings me to my main point. Princess Peach, you really ought to have told me what you had planned for Princess…er, King Bowser.”

Peach hung her head. “I know. I’m sorry, Toadsworth. I was so excited by our plan, I got ahead of myself.” 

Princess Daisy pointed two finger guns at Toadsworth. “You sure you don’t want to spank us?”

Toadsworth chuckled, and pulled out a clipboard. As he flipped through it, he revealed Bowser’s signature at the bottom. “Quite sure. It was a brash plan…but it wasn’t a bad plan. You learned that Bowser is as dangerous as ever. Whose idea was it to get Bowser to sign the Princess Academy Code of Conduct?”

Daisy sat on Toadsworth’s desk, pointing a thumb at her chest. “It was a team effort! I came up with the original idea! And Peach refined it!”

Luigi craned his neck to get a look at the clipboard. “What is the Princess Academy Code of Conduct, anyway?”

“It’s a sacred oath. A set of principles that guide any true Princess of the Realm. And in this instance, let’s just say it gives us…leverage. Bowser has legally agreed to be treated as a Princess, and a guest, in Peach’s castle.”

Mario nodded, drumming his fingers on his arm. “Meaning…”

Peach giggled. “Meaning that Bowser is not a prisoner. But he is under our legal protection and authority, right where we want him. Kamek can toot his horn all he wants, but he has no just cause to declare war on the Mushroom Kingdom.”  

“And what if Kamek doesn’t care about having a just cause? What if he starts a war, just cuz’ he feels like it?”

Peach and Toadsworth glanced at each other. Finally, Toadsworth answered. “You’re exactly right, Mario. That’s why I’m going to have to do the dirty politics, and we’re all going to have to be very careful with Bowser. Which leads me to my next order of business…Princess Peach, I’d like you to take over the preparations for the Grand Mushroom Kingdom Ball.”

Peach raised an eyebrow. “The Ball? But won’t you need my help more on affairs of state? You’re not still cross with me, are you?”

“It’s not a punishment. I want to have all the royal guests from the neighboring kingdoms see that Princess Bowser is, indeed, our honored guest, and not a prisoner clapped in irons. I can’t think of anything better to take the wind out of the sails of Kamek’s warships.”

Peach raised both eyebrows. “But, Toadsworth, you saw the damage Bowser did yourself. Despite his appearance, he’s as wild and uncontrollable as ever.”

“That’s why I’m trusting you with this task, Princess Peach. By the time of the Ball…Bowser will need to be civilized.”

Peach nodded. “I understand, Toadsworth. I won’t let you down.”

Luigi’s lip trembled. “You…don’t mean…”

Mario narrowed his eyes. “...You want us…to teach Bowser…”

Toadette clutched her heart. “...to behave like a proper Princess?”

Daisy grinned mischievously. “Oh, I can’t wait.”

…

Bowser pouted as he was escorted to his dungeon cell by Captain Toad and the Royal Toad Guard. After the iron bars slammed shut behind him, Bowser stomped toward his fold-out bed. The moment he sat down, Bowser squealed and leapt to his feet. “Stupid Daisy and her stupid spanking bet!”

Lying gingerly on the bed, Bowser twisted onto his side, face against the wall, looking thoroughly butt-hurt, in every possible sense of the word. “Stupid Mario, stupid Luigi, and their stupid teamwork, and their stupid friends, and their stupid power of friendship…Stupid Peach and her stupid friend zone. But I’ll get even.”

Bowser’s eyelids sagged, and with a final shiver, he drifted into a fitful sleep.

Across from Bowser’s sleeping form, two eyes, blue as ice, appeared in the mirror. Then, the woman in the mirror pressed her hand against the glass, her blond hair tumbling around her face in a wild nest.

Slowly, the woman stepped through the mirror, and crawled toward Bowser, step by step.

…

Bowser was back in his childhood nursery. Morton was cowering under the crib. The Great Demon King was hammering at the door, before the monster kicked the door off its hinges, snapping the chain lock off the wall. As little baby Bowser was sent flying, Bowser shook his head and turned to walk away. “Nope. New dream.”

The room melted and reformed around him, and Bowser was back in the divorce courtroom. The legally-blind judge pounded his gavel, then swiveled in his chair, doing his best impression of Ed Sullivan. “In the matter of Koopa v. Koopa, court is now in session. Good evening ladies and germs, we have a lovely shew for you today. Today I’d like to tackle the matter of custody for the…seven children? …Oh, boy, that’s a lot of names. I understand that all seven children are the biological children of Mizz Claudia Koopa, and were legally adopted by Lord Bowser Koopa on the day of your marriage, correct?”

Bowser yawned, and stomped out of the courtroom. “This again? I already know how this story ends. Come on, where’s the action? Where’s the romance? Where’s the suspense? Where is…the…tragedy?”

Bowser was in the observation room aboard the flying Koopa Fortress, surrounded by shattered TV screens. The alarms blared, and he saw something spiraling through the air as Claudia Koopa and King Wart flew away, oblivious. “No! My egg! My baby! Kammy, where are you?”

The screens blazed red, and the Mario Intrusion Alert System rang a shrill siren. “Mario, again? Mario, Mario…It’s always Mario! I’ll KILL him!!”

And sure enough, here was the all-mighty Star Rod in his hand. Holding it aloft, Bowser charged out the door, and knew that his wish was granted. Everything began to move very slowly, and very fast, all at once, as if Bowser was underwater and in the midst of a tornado. Mario emerged to face him, followed by a group of 8 of his pathetic followers. Then, the Seven Star Spirits flew into formation above Mario’s head, their bodies glowing with holy light.

Bowser heard Princess Peach scream, and rush to join Mario, before Kammy Koopa flew to intercept her. Bowser chuckled as he noticed Princess Peach had an insignificant little friend of her own. A baby star they’d caught sneaking around to chit-chat with Peach. Yes, “Twink.” That was the wimpy little star’s wimpy little name. No need to worry about those two. Bowser rounded on Mario, and called upon the Star Rod to grant his wish: to be invincible. 

Bowser savored the memory of stomping Mario into the ground, laughing as Mario’s friends bounced uselessly off him in every direction. Bowser shivered with ecstasy as he held aloft the Star Rod, and smote the Seven Star Spirits themselves with his magic.

Bowser laughed, triumphant, victorious, when something small bounce off the back of his head, no bigger than a pebble. Scratching the back of his head, Bowser spotted Peach, her hands folded in prayer, and in front of him…a baby star. Peach’s insignificant little friend, Twink. Then, Mario got back on his feet, and as Twink flickered, his light no greater than that of a firefly, the Seven Star Guardians trembled, and arose from the ground. Then Mario’s 8 companions awoke from their unconsciousness, and leapt to Mario’s side.

And as Bowser felt a tickle, he looked down, and saw the invincible power of the Star Rod begin to fade from his grasp, its rainbow aura dissipating like water.

Bowser remembered Mario kicking him in the face, then a hammer smashing down on his skull. He remembered falling through the clouds into nothingness, miles above the earth below. He saw both his and Peach’s castles tumbling through the sky, before the Seven Star Spirits flew below Peach, Mario, and all their little friends, and caught them all up in a sphere of iridescent magic. As Peach’s castle floated lightly away, light as a bubble, Bowser and Kammy Koopa fell, along with their mighty fortress and the entire Koopatrol, and smashed into the ground.

Bowser, of course, survived. There were days of assembling the survivors into a fighting force, followed by weeks of work to recover anything useful from the smashed remains of the fortress. And all the while, Bowser knew there was no hope of assembling a rescue party to recover his lost child. Even by the time he had seen the alert, it had already been too late. Without the incubator, the egg would never hatch. And even if it did, the child would be hopelessly lost, and all alone. 

Leaving his troops behind, Bowser found a secluded spot in the midst of the ruins, next to the smashed remains of two giant statues, both formed in Bowser’s own image. Sitting on a rock, Bowser wept. “All I wanted…was a family.”

Then, Bowser stiffened as he heard a woman’s voice echoing from within the statue to his left. “Your heir…your legacy…gone forever…because of Mario…”

Bowser twisted to look at the cracked stone statue of his own face. “Huh? Who is there?”

The woman’s voice seemed to creep forth from the mouth of the statue, like solid darkness on the air. “I am you. I am what you can become. Come to me. You have only to reach out your hand, and I will grant your most cherished wish…revenge.”

Bowser’s eyes watered as he stumbled toward the statue on his left. “Mario…took my child…”

But just as Bowser reached out to the statue on his left, a small child’s voice roared out of the mouth of the giant statue on his right. “Hey! Quit that cry-baby routine! It’s my nappy time!”

Bowser quickly wiped away his tears, putting up his dukes. “Who’s there? Come on out and fight! I’ll give you something to cry about!”

A baby Koopa, still wearing his egg shell as his only form of clothing, popped out of the statue. “You’re the one who’s crying! Like a big, fat baby!”

Bowser got in the kid’s face. “Call me a baby, will ya? What’s your name and rank, soldier?”

The kid got right in Bowser’s face. “I’m Koopa Junior, Mr. Big Baby. And I dunno what a rank is!”

Smoke billowed from Bowser’s nostrils as he snatched the child up in one fist. “So, a deserter, eh? Looks like I’ll have to make an example outta’ you. You and me are gonna’ fight! And the fight ain’t over til one of us cries, ‘Uncle!’” 

“You’re on, Big Baby! What’s an Uncle?”

Bowser sneered. “It means I’m bigger than you, and I’m older than you, so I’m better than you.”

“Are you my Uncle?”

Bowser rolled his eyes, then strolled into the midst of his warcamp, holding the child high above his head. “No! I’m not your Uncle kid. Hey, everyone! Gather round! We’re gonna have a little one-on-one wrestling match, and you’re all invited to watch! This here is…Koopa…Junior…”

Groups of Koopas, Goombas, and other underlings started to gather on all sides, a murmur traveling through the crowd. Everyone loved watching Lord Bowser lay a brutal, professional-wrestling-style smackdown on any unfortunate soldier who got too big for their britches.

Bowser blinked and took a closer look at the kid. “Wait a minute, where are your parents?”

Koopa Junior rolled his eyes. “Ugh! My Mommy dropped me out of an airplane. The next thing I know, I hatch out of my egg, and see this short, fat loser with a big bushy mustache wearing a red hat, so naturally I try to kick his butt, and you know what he did? He had the nerve to fight back!”

“Wait, you fought Mario?”

“Yeah, I fought Mario! Cuz when I was in my egg, my Daddy told me that I was gonna grow up to be big and strong and kick butt, especially the butts of anybody named Mario!” 

Koopa Junior kicked free from Bowser’s grip, and landed on his butt. The eggshell that represented his only clothing cracked as he fell on his booty. Then Koopa Junior stood up and pointed a finger at Bowser’s face. “And when I’m done kicking your big, fat, baby butt, I’m gonna find my Daddy!”

“...Your…Daddy?”

“Yeah! My Daddy is the one and only Bowser Koopa! So there’s no way I’m gonna lose to a baby-butt, idiot, stink-head like you!”

Hearts appeared in Bowser’s eyes as he scooped up Koopa Junior. “Koopa Junior! You’re alive! You’re here! You’ve gotten so big!”

Koopa Junior kicked and punched wildly, before he froze. “Hey! No fair! Put me down so I can punch your…Wait, are you my Daddy?”

“Yes! Yes, I’m your Daddy! And you’re my baby! You’re my Koopa Junior!”

Koopa Junior’s eyes went wide. “...Daddy?” 

Then Koopa Junior’s egg shell cracked and fell off, showing his cute baby butt to the entire assembled army. Bowser gasped. “It’s a boy! I’m a father! I have a bouncing baby boy! That means you need a new name! I’m gonna name you…Bowser Junior!”

Bowser Koopa Junior pumped his fists. “Yes! I love my name! Now let’s you ane me fight, Daddy!”

Bowser set Junior down and put up his fists. “Oh, you bet we’re gonna fight, Junior! We’re gonna fight all day! Put up your dukes! Everyone, cheer for my son!”

Above the scene, the woman in the mirror emerged from the gaping mouth of the smashed statue of Bowser. “...So, the child survived?”

In the midst of the bare-knuckle father-son boxing match, Bowser and Bowser Junior both froze, with their fists in mid air. Junior glanced up at the statue. “Say, Daddy, why is there a scary shadow lady with a creepy voice in this dream? I don’t remember her.”

Bowser’s eyes blazed. “You’re right! She’s not supposed to be part of this dream! She’s…”

As Bowser rounded on the blond woman, with his eyes blazing, they both spoke at once. The woman held up her hands plaintively. “Bowser?”

Flames shot from Bowser’s mouth as he charged. “Bowsette!”

 

The woman quickly retreated toward the shadows, but Bowser tackled her with such force, they smashed through the statue, and through the fabric of the dream world itself. As Bowser slowly transformed into a red-haired woman, he snarled. “I remember everything! You are an evil ghost babe!”

Bowsette pummeled Bowser’s shoulder, her fist bouncing off his toned deltoids. “No! You don’t understand! I’m only trying to–”

Bowser awoke in his bed, and slammed the ghostly image of the blond woman into the wall. “Enough! I won’t be controlled by you!”

Gasping, Bowsette grasped at Bowser’s wrist, unable to pull his hand away from her throat. “I don’t…want…to control you…”

Relaxing his chokehold only slightly, Bowser lifted Bowsette up to his face. “No more lies! I want the truth!”

Then, to Bowsette’s horror, she felt herself being tugged forward, and found herself bent over Bowser’s knee, before her legs were pinned tightly in place. “What is this? …What are you…”

Bowsette faltered as she saw Bowser lifting his hand high in the air. Bowser bared his teeth and he glared down at her. “Because of you…I got spanked! Do you have any idea how emasculating that was?”

Bowsette’s eyes went wide as she saw what was about to happen, before it happened. “No! I am a Queen! You can’t do this to–meeeeeeeaaaaaah!””

As Bowser landed the first spank across Bowsette’s soft bottom, Bowsette’s last word trailed off into a wail. Without hesitation, Bowser began to spank Bowsette at a ferocious, though oddly controlled pace. “So, you were the one behind those weird power ups! And you were the one behind that sissy, pink fire! I knew it tasted funny! It was like choking on flowers and candy!”

“That was–Ow!–I was helping you! Yah! Aaah-haaa!”

Growling, Bowser slowed the pace of the spanking slightly. “Help? How does it help to shove a bunch of magic mushrooms and fire flowers down my throat? And why didn’t you tell me what you were up to, hmm? What did you expect me to do, read your mind?”

“But–Aiyaah! B-but we were in the middle of a fight! I didn’t want to distract you so–Oooh! Oho! So I just acted as I thought best! Aaaiiiieeee!”

“As you thought best? And what about what I thought best? Did you bother to ask? No! You just assumed you could do what you want with my body! And thanks to your meddling, I lost the fight with Mario and Luigi!”

“Ouch! Th-that’s not fair! Y-you fought them yourself! Without my–”

Bowser landed the most ferocious clap yet, right across the seat of Bowsette’s skirt. Ignoring her howls, Bowser lifted the hem of her black skirt and rumpled it against her lower back, exposing an old-fashioned pair of voluminous, white, women’s undergarments: medieval-style pantaloons. “Precisely! Without your help. I am perfectly capable of fighting my own battles, thank you.”

Bowsette snarled, digging her fingernails into the folding bed’s thin mattress. “But you lost, you…wait, what are you doing?”

As Bowsette noticed her skirts being pulled up, she felt a sudden chill, followed by a thunderous spank, followed by a rising, angry heat. Bowsette screeched like a banshee.

Bowser shook his head, with a look of disgust, and began the spanking all over again, with renewed vigor. “Oh, spare me the theatrics. I don’t care that I lost, because it was my loss. Next time, I’ll get those Mario Brothers, and when I do, it will be my win! And if you ever try to take control of me like that again, I’ll paddle your royal rump, til it’s red and raw!” 

Bowsette strained with all her might, but Bowser didn't seem to notice. “Rraah! You–Argh! You animal! I’ll tear your throat out!”

Bowser landed a final, resounding clap, then paused momentarily. “How unladylike. These are some weird britches you’re wearing. If you ask me, you’ve gotten too big for ‘em!”

After failing to stand up, Bowsette tried to lunge forward, only to feel Bowser’s hand hook her by the nylon rope that held up her pantaloons, and tug her back into place. “Oof! Release me at once, you stubborn jack–”

With a soft, “Floomp!” Bowsette’s pantaloons were tugged roughly down below her wide hips. Already, Bowsette’s semi-transparent ass was faintly glowing, with a soft, rose pink light. Bowsette’s hair stood on end, as her protests died in her throat. 

Bowser landed a single, reverberating spank across the center of Bowsette’s bottom. “Nope. We are establishing boundaries…You…” Bowser landed a hard slap to emphasize the last word, then punctuated each word with another firm swat. “...Do not…Control…My…Body…”

Bowsette squealed as she felt the first stroke, then pressed her lips together to hide her screams. By the sixth spank, she was forced to bite on her lip to keep from trembling.

As Bowsette held in her final scream, her whole body shivered. Bowser paused to collect his breath, examining Bowsette’s upturned bottom with a philosophical expression. “Now, what have we learned about respecting my boundaries?”

Bowsette took a shaky breath, and clenched her fists. “Respect is earned. He who demands respect neither has it, nor is owed it.”

Bowser began the spanking again, quickening the pace. “Bzzzt! Wrong! Incorrectamundo! You’re just making excuses, trying to distract from what you did to me, but that’s all over now. There’s no point trying to save face anymore. You're lying bent over the knee, with your bare butt hanging out, finally getting the spanking you’ve had coming.”

Bowser paused for a single beat to examine his target, “Hrmm…not nearly red enough.”

Then he immediately began spanking Bowsette again. Bowser chuckled as he heard Bowsette start to squeak and squeal after each spank, gradually building the pace faster and faster. “Sounds to me like I’m proving my point!”

Bowsette grit her teeth, seething as she tried to mentally block out the building burn of the spanking. “And…what does this…prove? That you’re bigger than me? Stronger than me?”

Bowser aimed two scorching strokes across Bowsette’s lower buttocks, first her right butt cheek, then her left. “Yes, and yes! Therefore, you are not in a position to push me around. I don’t care about arguing that point with you. I am simply reinforcing that reality, and using your backside as an illustration of a basic law of nature. For every action…” 

Bowser landed a clap to Bowsette’s left sit spot, the sensitive area where the lower buttock connects to the upper thigh. “...There is an equal, and opposite, reaction!”

As a red welt in the shape of a handprint slowly rose across Bowsette’s left buttock, Bowser planted a second smack on Bowsette’s right sit spot with equal force. There was a ghostly image of a white handprint across Bowsette’s right buttock, before it flushed red, a mirror image of the first mark. Bowser stretched his arm, and casually exhaled on his palm. “Now, why don’t we try again? Say you’re sorry for trying to mind-control me, or whatever that was.”

Bowsette took a faltering breath, resolutely staring at the wall. “You can’t make me admit I was wrong by hitting me. I will not be broken.”

Bowser answered with a spank, aimed dead center across Bowsette’s butt crack, his palm covering a good portion of both cheeks. To Bowsette’s displeasure, she discovered that the moisture on Bowser’s palm added a keen, fresh sting to the impact. Bowsette grunted, her voice cracking.

Bowser sighed, shaking his wrist and flexing his fingers to ease the sting across his own palm.  “Then we’re at an impasse. I will not be controlled. Once I finish spanking you, I’m torching the crown.”

Bowser could actually see the shiver travel up Bowsette’s spine, from the top of her crowned head to the tip of her turtleish tail. Beads of sweat trickled down both of her bare, pale shoulders. “So be it. I would rather die than surrender. Do your worst.”

“I will.”

But Bowser did not start spanking right away. 

Bowsette waited for a few seconds, tensing herself as she anticipated the next blow. Then she waited further, every passing second becoming more agonizing. 

Finally, Bowsette craned her neck to peep around her shoulder. 

The moment that Bowser and Bowsette made eye contact, Bowser began the spanking again.

Bowsette yelped like a puppy, then covered her mouth, steadily rocking forward and backward with the rhythm of the slaps. Bowser only carried on, confident that slowly, but steadily, we would win in the end. Just like his childhood hero: the tortoise from Aesop’s fable!

In a desperate bid to suppress her screams, Bowsette bit her palm, then slapped the mattress, twisting her fingernails deep into the soft fabric. Finally, she let out a little mew, like a kitten, and as two tears spilled down her eyes, she screamed. “Just…just end it!”

Bowser landed three of his hardest spanks, then paused. “If you want me to put you out of your misery, just say so. But, first, I want an apology. Spankings not over til I get it.”

Bowsette took a shaky breath, and quickly wiped away her tears. But she knew the broken quality in her voice would fool no one. “I…I will not apologize for acting as I did. Without my magic, we would have surely died. Nevertheless…I should not have concealed myself from you. Nor forced my magic upon you. For that, and that alone, I beg your forgiveness…And not because you struck me, but because I truly regret having done so.”

Bowser chuckled, and patted Bowsette’s bottom playfully. “See? Now, was that so hard? Stand up, sweet cheeks. Look me in the eye.”

Bowsette stood to attention like a soldier, her face composed. Apart from her tear-stained cheeks, there wasn’t a single hint on her face that she had suffered any pains. “So, this is the end. If you’re waiting for me to grovel, or beg for my life, I will not give you that satisfaction. Do what you will with me.”

Bowser blew a raspberry. “Don’t be so dramatic, theater kid. I’m not gonna kill you.”

As Bowsette blinked, the flecks of tears on her eyelashes sparkled like stars. “You’re not? But, you said–”

Bowser tapped the crown on his own skull. “I said I’d torch the crown if we didn’t come to an understanding. Seems we have. I’m not your puppet. Now that we’re clear on that point, you’re still my best ticket out of this dump. But from now on, no more secrets. If you’ve got any crazy ghost powers that can magic us out of here, I need to know.”

As she realized her life was being spared, Bowsette exhaled, thankful for every breath. “Your own brute strength is more than enough to break these paltry iron bars. You know that.”

“So, that means you do know my thoughts.”

Bowsette bit her tongue, then smiled. “In a way. I share your mind, to a degree. What you see, I see. But I don’t know everything. It’s more like…I’m getting to know you, over time.”

“Then why can’t I read your mind?”

“You can ‘read my mind’ just as easily as I can ‘read your mind.’ We’re both doing it, right now.”

Scratching his head, Bowser recalled one of his many ferocious battles with Mario over the years. This particular memory involved both of them throwing magic hats at one another in a duel to the death on the Moon. “I’ve been possessed by magic hats before, but that felt different. Come on, out with it. What are you, exactly? This isn’t like any Boo magic I’ve ever seen…”

Bowsette rolled her eyes. “I already explained that I’m not a Boo. I’m…basically, I’m like the ghost of–”

Bowser stood face to face with Bowsette, his eyes narrow. “No, you’re not the ghost of Queen Toadstool, either. You ain’t a ghost at all. Quit fibbing, or you're going right back across my knee, and I’ll spank the truth out of you.”

Bowsette tensed at the mention of another spanking, her temper starting to prickle, along with her stinging bottom. “There’s no need for threats. And I wasn’t lying, I was merely trying to explain–wait, so you were actually paying attention to me, the first time?”

“Well, duh! I love the history of the ancient Mushroom Kingdom! Queen Toadstool was a top-notch enchantress, but not even she could cheat death. I may only dabble a bit with necromancy in my spare time, but even I know there’s no magic that can restore life to the dead. Not real life, anyway. Dry Bones, Zombies, they’re all just pale imitations of life, like puppets. But you’re clearly alive.”

“Yes, exactly! In fact, Queen Toadstool was the first magician to prove that it’s impossible for magic to ever grant true immortality. It’s contrary to the very nature of the human soul. Ghosts and Boos may wander this world for a time, but sooner or later, even they must pass on, to the next life. Yet, as she approached the end of her life, Queen Toadstool knew that she must pass on her wisdom, to protect the Mushroom Kingdom for millenia to come. So, she developed an ingenious alternative: into her crown, she poured all her remaining magic, her experience, her will power.”

“Her soul?”

“Of course not her soul. But she could preserve her will. You might say that the Crown of Queen Toadstool represents her last will and testament.”

“So that’s you? You’re like a copy of the first Queen of the Mushroom Kingdom?”

“No, because a human soul cannot be copied. I remember fragments about the first Queen Toadstool, but to me, they are all memories of reading books about her, because you have read books about her. Because I am you. The Crown is not a person. It is a thing that stores magic: a magic designed for one purpose, and one purpose only…”

Bowser looked deep into Bowsette’s blue eyes, and saw his own reflection staring back at him. “To protect, and rule, the Mushroom Kingdom.”

Bowsette looked just as deeply into Bowser’s eyes, their foreheads almost touching. “And as long as that remains your purpose, I can exist, as Bowsette.”

“So, if the Crown was ever stolen from me–”

Bowsette smiled coyly. “Oh, I doubt you’d ever be that careless.”

Bowser frowned. “Hypothetically, say I give the crown to someone else, and they put it on, then they wouldn’t become Bowsette? You would…be them?”

Bowsette stepped so close to Bower, they were nose to nose. “Assuming they wanted to protect, and rule, the Mushroom Kingdom, even a little bit, then it’s possible. But the more strongly someone wishes to rule the Mushroom Kingdom, the more I would become like them…and you really want to rule the Mushroom Kingdom.”

Bowsette lightly wrapped her arms around Bowser’s waist. The sensation took Bowser by surprise. It reminded him, painfully, that he was still trapped in a woman’s body. But now that he was so close to Bowsette, the strange similarities between them only served to highlight the differences. As Bowser felt her press her soft, feminine form against his, he felt strangely manly again, even despite his foreign breasts and child-bearing hips. 

Bowsette sank her head onto Bowser’s shoulder. “So, I hope you never plan on leaving me behind. I live only to serve you, my Lord.”

Bowser thumbed his chin. “Hmm…your Lord, huh? I like the sound of that. If you’re me, that means you can never betray me! On the other hand, if you really are the undead ghost-zombie of an evil sorceress, that’s exactly the kind of thing you would say, to put me off my guard.”

Bowsette leaned in, as if for a kiss. “Well, there is a way to test that theory. If you ever doubt my loyalty, even for a moment…you can always kill me.”

Bowser grasped Bowsette by the waist, catching her by surprise as he pulled her into a tighter embrace, more like a death grip than a hug. Then he put his index finger under Bowsette’s chin, gently nudging her head up to look him in the eyes. “Oh, I can think of a much more fitting way to ‘test your loyalty.’”

Bowsette shivered as she felt Bowser’s heart beating against her bosom. “...And that is?”

Bowser roughly pulled out of the hug, holding Bowsette at arms length. Then Bowser spun her around on her heels, and pointed toward the corner of the cell. “Simple, I’m putting you in timeout, little Miss Bowsette.”

Bowsette blinked, before she felt Bowser give her a firm slap across the rear to motivate her to move forward. Bowsette yelped and shielded her behind. “Yow! Hey, what was that for?”

Bowser straightened up, crossing his arms to highlight his rippling biceps. “You say you live to obey and serve me, as your Lord? Well, your Lord says you’re still on thin ice for trying to pull my strings behind the scenes. So now you’re gonna march your little keister right over to that corner, and press your nose against the wall.”

Bowsette’s pale face flushed beet red. “Huh? But…I’m not a mewling child! I am a Queen!”

“And I’m your King! So if you don’t want to get another spanking on your naughty little bottom, then get that butt in timeout, on the double.”

Bowsette’s eyes blazed as she squared up to Bowser. They were exactly the same height, but something in Bowsette’s pose revealed what they both knew: she was no match for Bowser. Finally, Bowsette sighed, bowing her blond head low. “Yes, my King. I will obey.”

Meekly, Bowsette turned and stepped lightly toward the corner, her head held high, with royal poise. 

Bowser hummed. “That’s more like it. But I think we can still do better. Lift up your dress. I want to see how red your butt still is, after your spanking.”

Bowsette’s regal posture vanished in an instant as her shoulders stiffened. She twisted around, flashing her sharp fangs, before pouting. “Yes, my Lord. Your wish is my command.”

Lifting her turtle tail up high, Bowsette bent low to hike up her black skirt, buttoning it in place above her bottom, just below her tail.

“Huh, I didn’t know Princesses’ frilly dresses could do that. How convenient!” thought Bowser.

 Then Bowsette gracefully lowered her pantaloons. Sure enough, her bottom still had a healthy, bright red color. It perfectly matched a power mushroom in its shade, hue, and chroma. As Bowsette bent over slightly to press her nose into the corner, she lightly held up her skirts on either side, as if performing a curtsey. The result was that her bottom was perfectly framed by the fabric, presenting a perfect picture for Bowser’s inspection. 

Bowsette spoke softly, concealing most of her rage. “Does this position please you, Lord Bowser?”

Bowser bent low to inspect the lingering effects of the spanking, and was pleased with the results of his work as a spanker. “You’re being awfully compliant. No arguments? No threats? No complaints about being ill-used, Queen Koopa?”

Bowsette paused to take a deep breath before answering. “No, King Koopa. It is the humble duty of a Queen to accept discipline and instruction from her King. I am but a lowly woman, and know my place.”

Bowser strolled over to his fold out bed to get a better view of the lovely sight. “And would that be?”

“My place is wherever you wish it to be. Whether I am standing at your side…or kneeling, beneath your heel.”

Bowser stretched, and yawned. “Or bending across my knee?”

“If it pleases my Lord to correct me so, then will I accept it gladly.”

Bowser started to settle onto his bed. “This is by far the best magical deal I’ve ever struck! I only wish all my goons were as submissive as–yooooo-hooo!”

The moment Bowser sat down, he flinched and leapt to his feet. “Yeeargh! That smarts! Just how hard did Daisy…”

Bowser squinted as he tugged down his boxers to examine his backside in the cracked mirror. “Wait a minute, my butt wasn’t this red a minute ago. Bowsette, come take a look at this!”

Bowsette did not move from her spot in timeout. “Am I being released from my imprisonment in the corner, my Lord?”

“Yeah, yeah, sure, whatever. Timeout’s over. Just get over here, I want to check…”

Bowsette appeared at Bowser’s side, mirroring his posture. Sure enough, both their bottoms bore identical red marks, with the minor exception that Bowser had a darker, golden brown skin tone. Bowser could even make out the matching shape of his own handprints. “What is this?”

Bowsette glanced at Bowser, looking suspiciously innocent, as she nudged Bowser’s bare bottom with her own. “Well, master…I am you, after all…so when you chose to discipline me–justly, and harshly, as I deserved–well, let’s just say you showed remarkable self-discipline.”

As Bowser straightened up, Bowsette stood alongside him, both lowering their skirts. Bowser cleared his throat. “You know, on second thought, now that we’re deciding to trust one another, I think I’d like to go for more of a partner-to-partner relationship. Ya know, as opposed to the evil-boss-hapless-minion dynamic.”

Bowsette took Bowser’s hands in hers, holding up so that their fingers interlaced. “I am honored by your newfound confidence in me, my Lord…but if you are ever displeased with my service, do hesitate to justly chasten me again. For so as long as it is your aim to rule, and protect, the Mushroom Kingdom, so I am yours, to command.”

Then, Bowsette kneeled before Bowser, and before he could object, she bent her head low to gently kiss his feet, one after the other.

Bowser heard the prison door rattle as it was unlocked, and dove forward to hide Bowsette from sight. “No one’s here! …I mean, uh, occupied?”

The door opened and Toadette appeared holding a tray. “Bowser? It’s lunch time.”

Bowser waved his hands, glancing around the room for a hiding spot to stuff Bowsette. “No need! I’m not feeling hungry! Um, we girls have to watch our figures, right? Ha ha!”

But as Bowser glanced behind him, he saw Bowsette had disappeared.

Toadette marched up to the yellow safety line, and halted. “Ahem. Bowser, please be seated, so I can serve you your lunch.”

“Huh? Oh, c’mon! Just hand it to me.”

Toadette raised her voice. “Sit your butt down, little Mister!”

Bowser obeyed, ignoring the scream of protest as he rested his weight down on the bed.

With a harrumph, Toadette pushed the tray through the slot, then backed away. “You hurt a lot of people today. You almost killed Princess Peach. Maybe, while you’re stuck here, you should think hard about that.”

Toadette pointed two fingers to wordlessly add, “I’ve got my eyes on you,” before she left the dungeon, and slammed the door behind her.

As Bowser crawled on his hands and knees to reach the plate of food, a simple meal of water, bread and cheese, he glimpsed himself in the mirror, and froze.

His hair was golden blond.

…

Mario and Luigi opened the door for Princess Peach and Princess Daisy, as they all emerged from Toadsworth’s office.

Luigi sighed with relief. “Well, I’ve had enough excitement for one day. All I want to do now is kick up my feet and relax.”

Daisy slapped her cheeks, then turned to grab Luigi by the shoulders. “Oh no! Luigi, everyone thinks you spanked Bowser! I can’t let you take the fall for me. We need to call to my dad! He always knows just what to do in a crisis.”

Before Luigi could do anything, he found himself pinned in a loving, but unbreakable headlock. “Y-your Dad?”

Daisy whipped out her phone and pressed a button on the homescreen labeled “DAD 9-1-1!”

The King of Sarasaland’s face appeared on the screen. “Hmm. Daisy, darling? Is everything okay?”

“Daddy! I’m in trouble! I spanked a foreign monarch, and caused an international incident!”

The King stroked his beard. “...Can I correctly assume this foreign monarch deserved to get spanked, at least?”

Daisy nodded. “Oh yeah, this time, I made absolutely sure of it first! I did what I had to do!”

“Well, then I suppose it can’t be helped. We’ll just have to deal with the political fallout from this foreign…King? Queen?”

“Funny you should ask that. It’s kind of a long story. Luigi, say hi to my Dad.”

Luigi swallowed a lump in his throat. “Um, hello, sir.”

“Say! What was the deal with you spanking that mystery woman on the television, Luigi. I’m surprised at you. I thought you were a gentleman!”

Daisy groaned. “Daaaad! You can’t believe what you see on cable news! That was just me, disguised as Luigi!”

“What? Why were you wearing Luigi’s clothes? What happened to your clothing?”

Daisy shrugged, hugging Luigi tightly against her chest with one arm. “Like I said, it’s a long story! Say, is Azalea there?”

A muffled, preteen girl’s voice echoed from the phone. “Dad? Is that Daisy?”

Daisy’s little sister, Azalea dove into her father’s chest to get a better view of the video call. “Day-zee?”

Stars appeared in Daisy’s eyes. “Ay-Zee!”

Azalea and Daisy squealed in that particular, adorable way sisters do, when they haven’t seen each other in weeks. Finally, Daisy rounded on Luigi. “C’mon, Luigi! Let’s go find a nice spot, so we can tell them all about how you saved my life, and how I spanked Bowser!”

“Wait, the King you spanked was Bowser? Ah, vaya!” said the King.

Daisy grinned from ear to ear. “Yeah, you should have seen it! And Peach and Mario were there too! They–”

Daisy paused as she spotted Mario and Peach standing awkwardly to the side. Then Daisy bent low to whisper into Luigi’s ear. “C’mon, Luigi, let’s give those two love birds some privacy!”

Luigi’s hat flopped down over his eyes as he twisted to look at his brother, still pinned in an iron headlock. “Love birds? You mean…well, I always knew that–yiiikes!”

Then, Daisy sprinted down the hallway, pulling Luigi in tow.

Mario and Princess Peach found themselves alone. Outside, the birds were singing softly in the central castle courtyard. 

Nervously, Mario pulled off his hat, and held it to his chest. “Princess.”

Peach clasped her hands together. “Mario.”

“I’ve been thinking–oh, you first!” said both Mario and Peach, at the exact same time. Peach started to giggle.

Mario only smiled, and put his hat back on. “After you, Princess. I insist.”

Peach blushed as she covered her mouth, wondering if her giggle sounded childish. “Well, I’ve been thinking. You and I have been running ourselves ragged for weeks now. This is the first time I’ve had an afternoon open…”

Mario bowed his head. “...and with the Grand Ball coming up, you may not get another day off for a long time.”

“Exactly! Wow, you read my mind! So…I’d like to do something, to thank you for all you’ve done for us.”

Mario opened his mouth, but Peach held up a hand to cut him off. “Hold on! I know that you believe virtue is its own reward. Don’t worry, I’m not planning to throw gold coins at you, or make you sit on a parade float. But, because it’s my day off, what I’d most like to do is…to do something for you, to say thank you...for being such a good friend.”

“I’m just so happy everyone made it hope safe, Princess. What more could I possibly ask for?”

“But, there must be something! Oh, I know…your cake! You never even got to try a bite of the cake I made for you! I’ll just zip on over to the kitchen and I’ll bake you the most scrumptious cake you’ve ever seen!”

“Princess, you don’t have to spend your one day off slaving over a hot stove, just for me.”

Peach shook her head, and waved her finger. “Nah, ah! None of that! I have made up my mind, and I will not be dissuaded! I love baking cakes! And I love sharing them with my friends! And I love…sharing my cakes with you, most of all, Mario.”

Mario nodded. “Very well. In that case, I do have a request. Please allow me to accompany you to the kitchen.”

Peach pouted, and put her fists on her hips. “Mario! Every time you’re in the kitchen, you volunteer to do half the work! I want this to be a special day, just for you!”

Now it was Mario’s turn to shake his head, waving his finger in a mirror image of Peach’s gesture. “Nah, ah! Fuggedaboudit! I don’t want to sit in a silent dining hall, waiting to be served. I want to spend my special day helping out my best friend. To thank you, for all you’ve done for me.”

Peach pretended to pout, as a form of token resistance before giving in. But before she could, Mario’s words struck her. “Your best friend? Am I really, Mario? What about Luigi?”

Mario spread his arms out, the universal Italian-American gesture of joy. “Ay! He’s my twin brother! Being brothers is a different thing altogether. If we punch each other, it’s another way of saying ‘I love ya!’ just a little harder!” 

Peach toyed with the idea of punching Mario’s shoulder, hard. But at the last moment, she hesitated. “So, we’re the kind of best friends…who don’t punch each other?”

“Yeah, ya’ know. I bet you and Daisy have all kinds of little things you do, that are…your special things. Stuff that just wouldn’t make sense to me and Luigi.”

As they made their way to the kitchen, Peached donned her apron on autopilot, tying a kerchief around her hair. “Oh, I know the sort of thing you mean. Back in Princess Academy, Daisy used to snap by butt with a wet towel, all the time! I was so…”

Peach’s eyes popped open as she remembered Mario. “...embarassed.”

Mario shrugged, and donned an apron of his own. “Eh, nothing to be ashamed of. Luigi and I did the same thing to each other, back at ole’ Saint Pat’s.”

Peach smiled as they fell naturally into baking the cake together. “Thank you, Mario. You always know just what to say.”

For the first time, in a long time, Peach and Mario enjoyed a quiet afternoon, with absolutely no adventures to interrupt them.

 

The End

Acknowledgements

Special thanks to my supporters on Patreon and Ko-fi. 

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Adam-12

Anonymous

K. R. R. Smisk