Geomancer Fan Fiction: The Natural Order of Things

Geomancer Fan Fiction: The Natural Order of Things

By Yu May

[Note: this short story is based on the characters and universe created by Fulgur.]

For as long as I could remember, Dad’s sheathed sword and shield had hung on prominent display in the kitchen, right behind the head of the table where he usually sat.

The shield was decorated with the coat of arms of the City of Cant, which depicted a man in chainmail holding a sword aloft with his right hand, while cradling a finely-dressed woman close to his chest. Despite the simple drawing style, there was no mistaking one key detail: the woman’s ornate skirts were pinned up in the back, and her chemise had been unbuttoned to reveal her bare bottom in the shape of an upside down heart, painted bright red, right at the center of the shield. It was the famous hero and heroine of Cant’s traditional courtly ballad: The Knight and the Lady. It also happened to be my favorite story.

I remembered one time, I must have been about nine or ten, when Mom had caught me gazing at Dad’s sword and shield displayed on the wall, and sighed. “One day, Zack, you will be responsible for taking care of a young woman, and to spank her, when she needs it. And when that day comes, do try to pay attention to more than just her bottom.”

Back then, 6-year-old May had been especially bratty, to the point that Dad in desperation had finally carved her first spanking paddle. May had peered at me with a sly smile. “He was looking at the lady’s butt! Aren’t you going to spank him?”

Mom had shaken her head. “Of course not. It’s only natural for a boy to take an interest in…good workmanship. Besides, Zack is nearly at the age where he’ll be too old for a spanking.”

May had let her mouth hang open. “Huh? How old is too old for a spanking?”

Mom had hummed. “Probably about eleven or twelve, for a boy. Definitely not after age thirteen. That’s when a boy becomes a man.”

May had rubbed her hands together, her eyes full of mischief. “So that means, when I turn thirteen, I’ll be too old for a spanking anymore!”

Mom had shaken her head, and removed May’s little spanking paddle from its hook on the wall. “Oh no, May, I’m afraid girls like us never quite outgrow the need for a good spanking. After you turn thirteen, you’ll be too big for the little spanking paddle, but that just means we’ll have to use something heavier–like a hairbrush, or a wooden spoon–to give you big girl spankings.”

“Huh? But that’s not fair! How come I get spankings if Zack doesn’t?”

“It’s perfectly fair. A boy learns his trade at thirteen, and how to care for himself. Even if he still chooses to live with us, Zack will be a man. But for girls, it takes many more years before we finish maturing. And as long as the man of the house is responsible for taking care of us, that means we women agree to submit to his authority. So what that means is, no matter how old a girl gets, she is never too old for a spanking, assuming she really deserves one.”

May had pouted, and deliberately started whining, her voice going shrill. “No fair! Girls shouldn’t get spankings! I don’t want more spankings!”

Mom had shaken a finger. “Stop that whining at once. If you don’t want a spanking, try acting like a lady.”

May had flopped off her chair, pummeling the floor with her fists and feet. “No! I don’t wanna’ be a lady! I wanna’ be too big for a spanking! Waaah!”

Then, to my astonishment, Mom had hooked the little paddle into her sash, picked my little sister up off the floor, screeching and squealing, and carried her up the stairs to her bedroom. Even from the bottom of the stairs, I could clearly make out the tell-tale sounds of a spanking. It only took Mom three swats to snap May out of her performative temper tantrum, and for May to start crying for real. Then Mom paused the spanking for a few moments, presumably to lecture May. “Shame on you, young lady. You’ve just earned yourself a paddling on the bare.” 

“No! Please, Mommy, not on the bare!” 

Then, the spanking started all over again, and from the sound of the slaps I was sure Mom was using May’s little spanking paddle. Whenever Mom or Dad had to use the paddle, May usually got a number of strokes equal to twice her age, unless she was being especially bratty, in which case she got a few extras. Whatever the number, by the time it was through, May was bawling and blubbering like a little baby.

I dared to risk climbing the stairs, but was too scared to approach May’s bedroom door. Then I overheard my mother cooing gently, and softly shushing May. “Shh…there, there, May. That was quite a spanking you got. I’m sorry I had to spank you, but you certainly deserved it for throwing that childish temper tantrum.”

May hiccuped, then answered in a soft voice. “I’m sorry…I didn’t…I don’t want to be a baby…”

I heard a soft patting sound, and guessed that Mom was giving May a few love-taps across her bottom. “Then remember this moment later, the next time you feel like acting out.”

“B-but…am I gonna get spankings for forever and ever, Mommy, even when I’m an old lady?”

I heard the sound of rustling cloth. Mom must have pulled May into a hug. “Oh, I doubt that. You know I was spanked by my father until I was well into my teenage years, until the day I married your father. And even after that, your father still had to spank me from time to time, for the first few years of our marriage, at least.”

“Daddy…gives you spankings, Mommy? Just like he spanks us?”

“Well, not that much anymore. You see, I decided that if I ever wanted to be too old for a spanking, then I’d better start acting like it. But yes, if I ever need a good spanking, then I trust your father to give me one. But not like the little spankings you children get. You see, May, spanking is an act of love. And all women need to feel loved. I think that’s why we girls need to be spanked so much more than boys.”

“But…spankings…hurt?”

“And they’re supposed to! Whenever I get a spanking, I expect to get it right on my bare bottom, until it shines beet red, and I’m crying my eyes out. That’s how we learn to be better. Aren’t you already thinking how you’re going to be a good girl, and never throw tantrums ever again?”

At the mention of a spanking on the bare bottom, I was tempted to approach May’s door, and take a peep, but I held myself back. I’d seen May get spanked plenty of times, but something told me that it wouldn’t be right.

I heard May hum thoughtfully. “Well, I suppose so, but…what if my husband is mean, and spanks me every single day, for no reason?”

I heard Mom giggle. “Ah, good question. There are lots of bad men in the world. So here’s a neat trick: never, ever let a man spank you, unless you’re absolutely sure you deserve a spanking, and you trust that he’s doing it for the right reason: because he loves you.”

“Like how Daddy loves us?”

“Exactly. A true knight never strikes a lady…unless she forgets to act like a lady. And even then, he’ll only smack her bottom.”

“Do you think I’ll find a knight like that one day?”

“If you look carefully, I’m sure you will. After all, every good man wants to be a knight.”

I shrunk back from the door, and crept downstairs. Once, Dad had told me that the days of knights in shining armor were coming to a close. After the end of the last war, there were almost no true knights left alive in the free cities. But as I looked up at the shield, I made my decision. One day, no matter what it took, I would be a knight.